Upon my entrance into the world of blog-making, two visions arose before me like the ghostly miasma issuing from a dunghill on an autumn morning.
The one, a mirage of fame, women and Pounds Sterling – all of them drawn towards me by my magnetic wit, literary panache and tolerable visage (which the looking glass flatters me is no worse than the next gent’s, and given the accompaniment of several thousand a year could well attract the notice of the more fickle among the fairer sex.)
The other, a prediction born out of DESPAIR – or, to give it its other name, REALISM. My humble blog would surely sink to the depths of the internet, like a piece of beef-gristle in the ‘gravy’ of my landlady’s arse-awful stew. This second circumstance overtook me and I resolved to continue the upkeep of An Extraordinary Incident purely for my own amusement – for God¹ knows I enjoy little enough of that.
It came to pass, however, that an erudite young man by the name of Amateur Casual, Esq, took notice of my efforts and invited me to complete a ‘meme’. This word I had ne’er before encountered – did it rhyme with ‘dream’, and therefore mock me? My dreams are dark and bring me strange visions of my only² love, roaming the offices of the Illustrated Police News in naught but a nightgown of a delicate cut…
Or should the word ‘meme’ be pronounced ‘Me! Me!’ and consign one to the utter depths of internet solipsism?
These thoughts plague me, and I, to my compounded despair, see that I have spilt too many of my tortured imaginings onto this page without having done the actual meme. I shall do it tomorrow, for tomorrow may bring with it the hope that eludes me today, though such a possibility is…something or other… I’m quite tired now.
¹ I do not believe the said gentleman exists, but I have a fondness for the idea of him, and like to include him in my expressions of despair wherever possible.
² My only love so far, that is – I do not mean I should forsake all other, should any other care to become available.